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About Vienna

Me? I’d be pissed if it went south. Like, don’t promise relaxtion then pull some sketchy crap! Fear leads to anger, bro—once had a mate, swore it was “just a massage,” came back twitchy. “Lies flow like water,” I told him, straight outta *Dogville*. He was shook, haha, probs thought I’d snitch. Nah, I’m chill—just don’t lie to my face, ya know?

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Stroll down Hauptplatz. Seriously, it's charming. Quaint cafés, and that giant clock always giving you a suspicious look, like "What are you doing, babe?" Around the corner, off Im Stein, you'll find quirky little bars where confidence and awkward hilarity mix. I swear, I once helped a couple on a blind date there—a total rom-com disaster, just like that line from A Prophet: "I trust no one."