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About Vienna

Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

Laufhaus Hasenohr - Möllersdorf bei Traiskirchen

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I love walking in Stadtpark. Crazy awesome green space. Not too busy, so ya can clear your head when family probs hit. I often sit on a worn bench near the Kleine Traisen river – its gentle burble reminds me of the calm lull in that movie. I swear, if you listen real close, you can hear echoes like “spring is coming…” or something, mmm… donuts.

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