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So I walk up, all cool, like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, says somethin’ sassy—prolly calls me “sugar” or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “This chick’s a trip!” Reminds me of Joe dancin’ with them dames—smooth as fuck. But here’s the kicker—turns out she’s got a fake leg, right? Peg leg hooker, motherfucker! Swear to God, blew my damn mind. I’m like, “That’s some next-level texture right there!” Scratches, dents—shit I’d kill to model in 3D. She catches me starin’, goes, “What, you into prosthetics, freak?” I’m dyin’, man—humor’s dark as hell.

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Man, the streets here got names that stick: Unser Hauptstrasse is like, the lifeline – crowded, noisy, full of bright shops and quirky cafes. I once ran into this girl from the app, and we ended up laughing our heads off right there. Then there's Rudolfgasse – narrow but packed with character. Seriously, go wander it on a lazy afternoon, ya never know what gem you'll find!

Twin town representatives enjoy Tipperary hospitality for St Patrick's Day