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About Vienna

Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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I gotta gush 'bout the local landmarks too – the Knittelfeld Castle stands all prim in the distance. Yup, that ol’ fortress has stories comin' out its stones. Then there’s the little park near Friedhofstraße, where the trees whisper secrets in the wind. And oh my, the riverside path along the little creek – you know, the one where you can almost hear the soft splash of water like a lullaby on a hot summer night.