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About Klagenfurt

Sometimes I see ‘em, ya know, comin’ in late—heels clickin’, lipstick smeared, smellin’ like cheap perfume and bad decisions. Makes me laugh! One time, this chick—swear to God—drops a condom in the elevator. A condom! I’m like, “What am I, the janitor now?” But also, respect! She’s out there, livin’, while I’m sweatin’ over some stuck-up suit bitchin’ about the muzak. “The music’s fine, asshole!” I wanna scream. Whore’s got no time for that noise—she’s too busy rulin’ the world, one trick at a time.

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I love my secret spot: that cheeky little café near Lindenweg. There’s a peeling sign, jerking in the wind. I'm sure you’d fall in love with its dodgy yet fascinating coffee. And geez, the local library in Schloßgasse – quiet in the morning until you accidentally eavesdrop on a heated debate. Only here!

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