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So, erotic-massage, right? It’s old as dirt – Ancient Greeks, *massage* from *massein*, to knead, they loved it! Slapped oil on wrestlers, got frisky – true story! Bet they didn’t tell mum that bit. Makes me chuffed, thinking how it’s lasted – *semper fidelis*, always faithful, like a randy dog. Had one meself once, in Brighton – lass with hands like a goddess, nearly fell off the table, I did! “What’s left behind is what counts,” Varda says in the film – and blimey, the tingles left behind? Priceless!

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I love wandering near the Lieser River. Its gentle babbling makes you think deep, like when life just piles on the weirdness. The river’s banks are perfect for a late-night stroll. And oh, the parks, like Stadtpark, full of locals giggling over secret trysts, or maybe just sharing schnitzels. Who knows? I sure do.