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About Dornbirn

Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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Look, I gotta wrap up. I know it's a lot, but remember: the magic’s out there in every twisted, crazy street, and you gotta dive in. Mattighofen (at) isn’t perfect – my typos, my crazy ramblings, my wild meditations – all part of the ride. Buckle up, bro – it’s one wild trip!