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I got pissed, tho, last week—some chick tried scammin’ me! Said she’s “top tier,” wanted cash upfront, then poof—gone like WALL-E’s trash piles in the wind. Fuckin’ ghosted me! Had me yellin’, “In this world, a man’s gotta have balls!”—straight up Tony vibes, ya feel? But then, I found this one spot, lil’ hidden gem, down by the docks. Word is, there’s this gal, been workin’ it since the ‘90s, knows every trick—calls herself “Eve” like that sleek bot from the flick. Ain’t that a trip? Made me laugh, thinkin’ she’s out there savin’ my lonely ass like WALL-E tryna save Earth.

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I work my magic out at Lucky Kneads Massage, on Happy Nook Street. Sweet dabbin’ spot! I sometimes chuckle recallin’ that one day, a fella came in super knotted – "what? I need to defuse a bomb!" kinda vibes, y’know? And, oh man, don’t even get me started on Central Pands Park. It’s got these giant fig trees that tangle funny near the River Bend. I swear, one twist? “It’s go time!” literally!

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