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About Melbourne

So, I’m thinkin—where do ya even start? Back alleys? Shady websites? Total sketchville. I’d probs be all nervous, like Monsieur Gustave tryna keep shit classy while dodgin cops. “The plot thickens, as they say!” Maybe I’d hit up some dive bar—neon lights flickerin, stinkin of cheap booze. Saw this chick once, fishnets ripped, smokin a cig like she owned the joint. Total vibe. Made me happy, dunno why—grit’s hot, I guess.

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I work my magic out at Lucky Kneads Massage, on Happy Nook Street. Sweet dabbin’ spot! I sometimes chuckle recallin’ that one day, a fella came in super knotted – "what? I need to defuse a bomb!" kinda vibes, y’know? And, oh man, don’t even get me started on Central Pands Park. It’s got these giant fig trees that tangle funny near the River Bend. I swear, one twist? “It’s go time!” literally!

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