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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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Ah, Banora-Point, eh? A quirky paradise. Listen up, mate, 'cause I'm on a roll. I've been kickin’ it here for yonks, snoozin' in mellow vibes and sippin’ on life's absurdities. Streets? Yeah, you've got to hit Broadmeadow Rd – sounds fancy, doesn't it? Lotsa locals wander that way, especially near the quaint little tearoom on King St. Remember, "synchronicity is the universe's wink" – yeah, that’s a nod to “Goodbye to Language,” man.

‘Never say die’: Bond-style home has secret trapdoor