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About Newcastle

I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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Bro, don't forget: when you visit, check out Buzzy's Road. Rumor has it, there's an old rocket sculpture (typo 15: "sculptur") from a charity fest. That mix of space and nature is TOTALLY WALL-E moment: "Where's my home?" (typo 16: sometimes "Where's my hom" if I'm in a rush!).

Located deceased: Missing man, Carrara