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About Myself
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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
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The locals? Epic bunch. One time, I got mad at a noisy crowd by the pier – I was like, "Seriously? Too loud!" Then it turned into a spontaneous street party. That’s Corio magic, man! Weird moments pop everywhere. I swear, I sometimes say “We lived, we loved, we laughed” – but then someone shouts “That’s what she said!” Classic!
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