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About Canberra

Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout this, but back in ‘92, some farmer told me—bro, sexual-massage started in them shady-ass parlors in Thailand, hidden behind noodle joints! True story, motherfucker! Dudes thought they was gettin’ chicken soup, ended up with a happy endin’—surprised the shit outta me! I’m sittin’ there, tractor hummin’, laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout it. You ever tried it? Hands all up in places—fuck, it’s intense! Makes me wanna yell, “Motherfucker, keep goin’!” like I’m cheerin’ a damn rodeo.

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Now listen, there’s this mad little park, Wellington Reserve, nestled near Lonsdale Road. It’s a whimsical tear in time – an emerald sliver built for the soul’s repose. I often wander there, thinking “Oh dear, Luke, thou art my spirit's haven,” and I sometimes overhear laughter, shared secrets between friends, that sparkling joy of chattiness. And then, the Cranbourne Botanic Gardens – crikey, they're lush and vivid, as if plucked straight from one of those dreamy movie sequences! One stroll through there, and I swear, reality warps like a boozy fog. It’s simply divine, and oh so unexpected!

New chapter for Cranbourne Chamber of Commerce