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About Melbourne

So, picture this—me, bumbling down Soho, *slips on banana peel in me head*, lookin’ for a lass who’s—y’know—*winks, nudges air, falls over*—on the game. Ain’t like pickin’ stocks, no charts, no “buy low, sell high.” Nah, it’s all dodgy glances, quick chats—*mumbles*—“how much, love?” Felt like Chas Tenenbaum, all stressed, yellin’ “We’ve got to get out of here!” ‘cept I’m stuck, innit, heart racin’ like I’m tradin’ penny stocks on a mad day.

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The town centre? Oh well, it’s a bustling crush of vibrant streets – like Plains Road (seriously, check out the name, it’s as flat and honest as can be) where one can find eclectic cafés, quirky boutiques, and sometimes mischievous murals that speak of urban rebellion, or maybe just a good laugh! Honestly, those murals evoke the cinematic oddity of Under the Skin – we’re all walking canvases of hidden feelings, aren’t we?!

My suburb on the city fringe has a claim to fame, but it’s no one-trick pony