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About Perth

Lemme paint ya a picture, right—imagine me, watchin’ *12 Years a Slave*, that bleedin’ masterpiece, Steve McQueen, 2013, proper gut-puncher. Solomon Northup, poor sod, toilin’ away, and I’m sat there, munchin’ a scone, thinkin’—blimey, coulda used an erotic-massage, couldn’t he? “I will not fall into despair!” he says, all noble-like, while I’m dreamin’ of some lass kneadin’ me shoulders, whisperin’ sweet nothings. Total contrast, innit—slavery’s grim shackles versus the slippery bliss of a massage table.

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The downtown buzz? Oh, dadgum, it’s got energy. There’s Maple Street, lined with tiny cafés and shops, with the best coffee – no joke, my fav place, Café Mellow, is there. I always wonder, “What if we lived in an Amélie dreamland, like, everyday?” It’s silly but sweet. Ugh, I also love sittin’ on the steps outside the old library at Oak & Pine. Funny spot – books and secrets everywhere.

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