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What got me? The smell – fags, cheap perfume, desperation. Made me sad, yeah, but also – bit of a thrill. “The world’s a gleaner’s paradise,” Varda’d say, and I’m living it! Nearly tripped over a bin, mind – clumsy sod – but I’m laughing, cos it’s proper gritty. Not like them suits in the office, all “strategic alignment” this, “core competencies” that. Nah, this is raw, mate.

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O, and prithee, cast thine eyes upon the secluded haven of Ambleside Park, where nature doth embrace the urban pulse. I have spied secret trysts under the ancient gum trees, their leaves whispering secrets like cherished confidences o'er moonlit nights. ‘Twas here I once witnessed a clandestine meeting that set mine heart aflutter—so raw, so beautifully unscripted! Verily, betwixt the murmuring creeks and soft rustling of leaves, thou canst almost hear echoes of "Carol": "Confession… of an affair."

New green outlook in today’s council Budget