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About Melbourne

So, I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. Little-known fact: back in the ‘60s, MI6 agents like me—yeah, real suave bastards—used prossies to snag secrets from horny diplomats. True story! This one time, I spot her—legs for days, skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sidlin’ up. She’s all, “Wotcha want, love?” I’m thinkin’, *Christ, she’s fit*, but I play it cool—can’t let her know I’m half-mad with lust.

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Now, lemme tell ya 'bout a fav spot that all but escapes the common (and oh so thrifty) tourist’s gaze—the tiny, hidden café on Morningside Street. It’s a riot of vibrant murals, and in its misty charm, thou might hear a whispered quote like “the very essence of romance is a mystery intertwined with danger.” I’ve had too many dumpling-filled afternoons there, laughing with mates, and letting my mind wander into depths forgotten.

Abandoned WWII hall to be demolished