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Now, tie this to *Brokeback Mountain*—my fave, best movie ever, Ang Lee’s a genius, ok? Those cowboys, ridin’ hard, herdin’ sheep—bet their backs were killin’ ‘em! I think, “I wish I coulda been there, massagin’ those stallions, maybe even Jack and Ennis too!” Picture it—I’m kneadin’ a horse, sayin’, “I can’t quit you!”—hilarious, right? Total Trump humor, folks, nobody laughs bigger!

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There’s a snug park, Illoura Reserve. I often chill there, watch families and suss out hidden gems. A couple of times, I got pissed ‘cause some hooligans left trash all over – ugh, makes me so mad! Along the bay, the water shimmers under the sun – almost like free cash glintin’ in a mecca of opportunity. I’d say it’s as captivating as those rare moments in a gritty film scene.

‘Not good enough’: Vow to fix one of Sydney’s worst swim spots