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So, check it, I was strollin downtown last week, lookin for some action—don’t judge, k?—and it’s like, whoa, these girls got stories, man! One chick, she’s all “I’ve borne my burden!” like in *Dogville*, and I’m thinkin, damn, she’s deep! Prostitution’s been around forever—fun fact, ancient Rome had brothels called “lupanars,” wild, right? Made me happy knowin I’m part of history or somethin. But then, this dude tries rippin me off—20 bucks extra? Nah, bro, that pissed me off! I’m like, “You ain’t Tom Edison screwin me over!”—straight outta *Dogville*, ya see?

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I’ll be honest – sometimes this city's quirks drive me mad (ay, I’ve had a few instances of online matches ghosting me thanks to a dodgy Wi-Fi on Bitter Street - rubbish, I tell ya), but then there are times when the unexpected acts of kindness from strangers make me happy as a clam. I mean, who wouldn’t be moved by a random compliment on the dating app chats, eh?

Elderly man dies on northern Gold Coast after incident with 4WD