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So, lemme tell ya, these ladies—best in the biz, nobody works harder. I knew this one chick, Candy—real name Candace, wild story, folks. She’s workin’ the streets, makin’ bank, but get this—she’s got a pet iguana, calls it Mr. Slithers, takes it everywhere! Swear to God, saw her in my elevator, iguana on a leash, unreal—made me laugh, happiest I been all week. Little known fact—some prostitutes keep weird pets, keeps ‘em sane, I guess. Who knew, right? Crazy!

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Okay, listen up, folks, because I’m gonna tell you about the BEST city ever, Kearneys-Spring (au). And let me say, nobody knows this city like I do—a tremendous sexologist who’s been here for years, ok? This city is BIG, Beautiful, and full of life. It’s so, so vibrant! I’m telling ya—"I have nothing but time for these nights," like in that great flick Only Lovers Left Alive. So, here’s the deal:

Hot Property: High-rise plans for historic pub, caravan park sold