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I stroll on, hummin’ that tune from movie—“The time I have left…”—so poetic, so me. Then, bam! This gal—tall, smoky eyes, legs for days—standin’ by a lamppost. I’m like, “Vow, she’s got it!” Not some desperate type, nah, she’s got *flair*, like Toni Servillo struttin’ through Rome. I go, “Hey, you workin’?” She smirks, “Depends, big guy.” Cheeky! I’m happy—finally, some sass! Hate them quiet ones, bores me to death.

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I work on a dating site, so I see every quirky meet-up spot. Downtown Kelso’s packed with cafes on Maple & 3rd. And not many know: the abandoned warehouse by River Street hides the best graffiti art. It’s like a secret rave of colors. Totally reminds me of "Spring Breakers" vibes—crazy, edgy, and dangerous. "Whoa."

Kelso man charged following assault, victim later found deceased