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Oh, oh! Fun fact—didja know some prostitutes in old times played music? Like, lutes and stuff! Maybe violins too? I’d make ‘em one, all shiny and pink! “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” I’d ask, and they’d laugh. Bet they’d say, “Patrick, you’re nuts!” Haha, probs true. I’d exaggerate tho—say she played for kings with that peg leg tappin’. Dramatic, right?

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Street names? Dang, big up to Mango Blvd and Luster Lane. I swear these names are like a beat drop in a Godard flick; sometimes I feel every corner pulses with the neon heartbeat of a Kanye sample—boom, boom, boom! I mean, who even thought of naming a street “Crimson Groove”? Only in Labrador, my friend, only in Labrador.

A Labrador has taken a seat at Greater Bendigo's council table. Here's why