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Little fact for ya – did y’know prostitutes in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their feet? Proper nimble toes, them lot! Blows my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout that while I’m eyein’ this lass. “What’s authentic here?” I mutter, like that line from the movie – “It’s the original fake!” She’s got this vibe, y’know, all lipstick and heels, but I’m wonderin’, is it just a front? Like, is she secretly a poet or summat, moonlightin’ as a prossie? Wild thought, that – nearly tripped over a bin thinkin’ it!

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You know, I've been here for years, and every corner tells a story. My spa’s seen some of the worst hangovers and the best sonnets. I've seen happy tears, angry outbursts – all in one vibe. Sometimes, the city makes me mad when the rain ruins my outdoor sessions. Other times, it makes me burst with joy when the sunsets blow my mind.

Former Labor MP for Mulgrave, Warren Pitt AM, dies aged 76