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Still, bit awkward, innit? Bloke like me, floppy hair, stumbling in, “Erm, hullo, bit of a rub, please?” Laughed my arse off imagining it. What if they recognise me? “Blimey, it’s Boris!” Chuckle at that, I would. Oh, and the oils – slippery as a greased pig! Nearly fell off the table once, true story, daft prat that I am.

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And oh, there’s this funky street at Mill Street. Now, I gotta be honest, my back aches thinkin’ 'bout how many clients come in stressed, and Mill Street’s where I first learned about real human tension! Funny thing is, I always say, “Lord have mercy, that pressure’s like a runaway train!” And wouldn't ya know it, a couple of clients even told me, “Dolly, you work magic – just like the weightless moments in Syndromes and a Century!” Ain’t that a kicker?

EDFL