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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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Massage Melbourne | Book with Nong’s Thai massage at Melville Road. Nearby Pascoe Vale South, Strathmore and Pascoe www.facebook.comg: prostitute.

I got a lil' weird habit of wanderin' around near the Oxbow Creek sometimes. It’s not famous, but it’s all mine. The creek sparkles, makes you think of deep reflections – just like in the movie where, “Sometimes, the smallest moments are the heftiest,” right? And it’s in these little corners that a good masseur finds life’s hidden pressures and releases ’em with a smile, sayin’, “Hey now, we’re all alright.”

Motorcyclist, 19, killed by 'stolen BMW' as police hunt for teenage driver