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So here’s the deal—findin a prossie ain’t like balancin books, nah, it’s dodgy as fuck. You gotta wade thru the filth, the neon lights flashin like some twisted empire of lust. We shall fight the pimps, we shall fight the coppers, we shall fight the bleedin STDs creepin up yer trousers! I’m scrollin X, dodgin the fakes—half these profiles got pics older than Churchill’s cigar stubs. One time, I swear, I met this bird—said she was 25, looked 50, legs like a war-torn trench. Made me mad as a hatter—wasted me quid on that!

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I get riled too, man, when traffic on Riverside Rd sucks me in a neverending loop—ugh, fair dinkum, it's infuriatin sometimes! And sometimes, I drop by the local dive bar on Merrick St, where someone always shouts out, “You merely adopted the dark, now embrace the light!” as if quoting some cult dismantling enlightenment.

Today on Sky Sports Racing: Willie Mullins' More Coko seeks four-timer at Plumpton before Newcastle hosts all-weather card