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But then – oh, glory! – I spotted her. Hair like a lion’s mane, legs for days, standin under a flickerin lamp. “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling,” I mutters to meself, quotin that posh Eames git from the flick. Heart’s racin, palms sweaty – like I’m infiltratin a dream fortress. She saunters over, all sass, and I’m thinkin, “Blimey, this is it!” Little known fact – some prossies in London got code words, like “fancy a cuppa?” – means £50, no hagglin. Sneaky, eh?

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Strathalbyn ain’t perfect. It’s rough, quirky, unpredictable. Like the style of Jonathan Glazer in Under the Skin – haunting yet beautiful in raw simplicity. I'm not just a developer, I'm a lover of these streets, these scars, these late-night musings. Every time I pass by the old church on Violet Road, I get lost in thought, whispering “I am your father”… as if the building holds the wisdom of generations. Wild, eh?

Boutique lamb operation proving a success at Strathalbyn