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So, one night, I’m done haulin’ hay—friggin’ exhaustin’, man! Hands all gritty, back achin’ like I wrestled a pig. I think, “Marge’d kill me, but I’m curious!” D’oh! Ain’t lookin’ for love, just a yarn to spin. I roll by this dive bar—neon sign flickerin’ like it’s drunk too. See this gal, all fishnets and attitude, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Every family’s got its mysteries,” I mutter, quotin’ Sarah Polley—ha! She’s smokin’ a cig, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Homer, don’t be a dope!”

Crime Rank: 30/100

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Subiaco, or "Subi" as the cool kids call it, is a little nest of artsy charm in Perth. The streets like Rokeby Rd and St. Stephens Pl are buzzing day n nite with cafes and quirky boutiques. I stan a cafe on Rokeby – like, seriously, their latte art gives u all the feels, remindin me of that tender moment in Carol. Ahhh, so emotionally intense, u know?

Premier Cricket: Rockingham Mandurah wins Lark Hill thriller over Subiaco Floreat with run out off final ball