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Sarcasm? Oh, yesss, “ooh, so scandalous,” society clutchin’ pearls—grow up! Little known bit—massage oil’s got pheromones sometimes, sneaky shit, hooks ya! Humer? Guy farts mid-rub, blames “tension release”—priceless, precious! Raspy growl—erotic-massage, it’s filthy, beautiful, twisted—like me, warden Gollum, watchin’ cons dream of it! “You don’t have to do this,” nah, but them hands? Worth it, yesss!

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I gotta tell ya, as a dating site dev, I spy stuff others knock their head on. I spot the hidden gem bistros on Doodleberry Road – where couples laugh, whisper, even bicker, eh? It's mad how even the cheesy lampposts seem to wink, like, “Ah, mate, life’s bizarre here!” Believe me, I got my fair share of mad moments on those streets; ya shoulda seen me nearly fall off a bench cuz I was thinking about that iconic movie line: "Some things are beyond our control, like the tides." C’mon, right?

Woman's plea after brother found dead in Perth stormwater drain