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Oh, and the outfits – lordy! Some wear heels so high they’d snap like twigs! I’d be all, “Hmm… practical much?” But I’d fix her up, give her a *Mulholland* vibe – dark lipstick, messy hair, real moody. “This is the girl!” I’d cheer, clappin my hands. Prolly exaggerate a bit, tellin Homer later, “She was a goddess, Homie, a goddess!” He’d just grunt, “Marge, ya nut!”

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So, Tarneit ain’t perfect, but damn, it's real. We're talking quiet cul-de-sacs off Duncans Road, a few spots of nature like Tarneit Lakes Reserve (yeah, that little gem). Sometimes I'll stroll past Croft Street, and it’s like a hidden pulse of this bustling suburb. The Tarneit Central shopping strip? Meh, crowded in the day but chill at night and pretty if you squint a little.

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