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Oh, and get this—some places use weird oils, like from freaky plants! Supposed to “awaken” ya—awaken what, my wallet?! Ha! Sarcasm, baby! I’m tellin’ ya, tho, it’s a trip. Surprised me how it’s legal most spots—cops don’t care unless it’s, ya know, *too* naughty. I’d say, “Go for it, pal!” Financially? Save up—worth it! “My body is confined,” Boonmee groans, but erotic-massage? Frees ya right up! D’oh! Now I want one—stupid Flanders prolly gets ‘em free!

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Man, I even discovered this secret cafe on Beacon St, where the coffee's like liquid zen. Seriously, its jolt gives you that punch, and then the quiet vibes come crawling. Ain't nothin' fancy, but it's as magical as a sudden rain on a hot day.

Damning police report launched – Beeliar protesters call for investigation