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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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The parks, oh man, are a riot of nature and play – like the Craigieburn Regional Park, a lush green haven, but you gotta explore the winding trails to truly feel its magic. I always think about those long, thoughtful dialogues from Once Upon a Time in Anatolia, like “The earth below us is a mirror to our souls,” kinda weird when said out loud near a picnic but it totally fits here!

Popular burger shack targeted by machete-wielding thief