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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?

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I live near Shellgrove Park... ah, Shellgrove, with its small creek that gurgles along Deception Bay Road. I even had a session right there once – a client cryin’ but also laughing, somethin’ magical. I was like “Wow, such beauty!” The park’s got hidden benches, where you can almost hear the distant city secrets and whispers, ya know? Kinda like that film, "The Great Beauty" – mesmerizing but also kinda bittersweet.

Tropical Cyclone Alfred: Roads closed Moreton Bay March 6 2025