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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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Man, I get so mad sometimes. I get mad at how life treats women here—so many struggles! I walk the streets near Constitution Ave. and Elm; these streets are like therapy sessions on concrete. You see all the small graffiti, little love notes that say “No justice, No peace!” It just inspires you even if my heart races frenziedly, ya know?

Missing woman, Dalby/Roma