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Me tried it once—oh yesss—some parlour, dim lights, weird music. Lady says, “Relax, hon,” and me thinks, “Hon?! I ain’t no hon!” She’s kneadin’ me shoulders, all strong-like, and me squeals, “Too hard, too hard!” Felt like WALL-E’s trash compactor, squishin’ me flat! “WALL-E not built for this!” me brain screams. But then—hiss—gets good, real good. Warm oil, soft rubs, me melts a bit. “Maybe… maybe me likes,” me whispers, all sneaky.

Summer special 30 minutes with two girls for only $200.

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I sometimes find secret little corners to catch breath – near a hiding bench by the corner of Nicholson Street. There, I see kids playing and old mates sitting chatting. Pure magic, like a scene from that film – "Let the Right One In." Boo-ya, spooky and sweet, innit?

One of the ‘best views in Hunters Hill’ listed with a $13m price guide