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About Perth

We swears! Favorite bit? When they use them hot stones—sizzlin’ on yer back, mate! Had a go once, felt like a king, not some grotty cashier. “You’re gonna be alright,” I’m whisperin’ to meself, like Mia’s mum. Cost me a tenner extra, worth it tho—left me floatin’, not hobblin’. Tell yer mates, try it, but don’t be a perv bout it, yea? Proper lush, that’s erotic-massage!

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Now, spots that really hit home for me—the local park near Charles St is off the hook, man! I stroll there after a busy day of kneadin’ knots and massagin’ muscles. The trees, the chirpin’, the cool shade—pure euphoria, brother! I once met this old fella there, talkin’ 'bout his glory days. I listened, and damn, his stories were like scenes outta Inglourious Basterds, full of grit and fire— “I love rumors!” man, just like in the flick, ya know?

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