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About Wollongong

Little-known fact—ancient Greeks were on this! Called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down soldiers after battles. Horny warriors gettin’ oiled up—wild, right? Bet they were like, “Yo, harder, my glutes are screamin’!” Fast-forward, now it’s bougie spas or sketchy backrooms. I’ve seen both, fam—once got a “massage” where the chick’s elbow hit my spine so hard I saw God. Pissed me off, but also? Kinda hot. Pain’s a freaky turn-on sometimes, sue me!

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Now, the neighborhoods here? The best are Westwood and Eastview. These places are so vibrant, so colorful, they make you forget everything even exists outside this little slice of paradise. I was walkin’ down Corrigan Street—ya know, that one with the quirky little art murals and graffiti that tell stories—when I nearly bawled. True story, true feelings, they’re a big deal, huge in impact, like Trump-style BIG, they are!

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