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About Melbourne

Quirky bit – kept hummin’ “Too Young” from the flick while checkin’ its arse for worms. Weird, yeah? Oh, and fun fact: whores – horses – they sleep standin’, lazy shits, don’t even lie down proper. Saw it snooze, swayin’ like a drunk salaryman in Tokyo. We hates it, precious, but damn, it’s funny – big dumb lug, king of the paddock, actin’ all high and mighty.

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Now, lemme tell ya bout the parks – especially Cornwall Park, tiny but packed with surprises like hidden benches and those insane views of the bay. Sometimes I sit there counselling a friend who’s had it up to here – and wham! It's like a scene from Pan's Labyrinth, all mysterious and intense. People think they know, but nah, I see the true heartbeat of the city in these little corners.

King Charles III Tightens Security at Sandringham After Drones Incident