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Fun fact—did ya know? Old-school brothels had secret signals—red lanterns, coded knocks. Now it’s emojis—eggplant, peach, wink-wink. Progress? Pfft, same game, shinier wrapper. I’m laughin’—imagine Larry Gopnik tryin’ to decode THAT, all “What’s the meaning of this text?” Poor schmuck’d be lost, clutchin’ his Torah, while I’m over here, “I can see Russia from my house!”—spyin’ every shady detail others miss.

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Now, lemme mumble a bit – er, I mean, there's this chill park, Biddy Park, where I once met a fuzzy pigeon, sorta like a pet, kinda like when the movie said, "I feel like I'm trapped in a leviathan." Yep, that movie – oh, blimey, so deep, you ken? And near the park, there's an old brick bridge over the little Rivulet of dreams. Nah, I don’t know if it’s a river, but round here, it’s our little secret.

West Coast Eagle Nic Naitanui to suffer big property loss when selling Swan View home