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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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To wrap it, Yarrawonga is nature, it's heart, it's idiosyncrasy and pure life. It’s like drifting in a Certified Copy moment: slow, reflective, simultaneously mad and magic. So, get ready to be embraced by its warmth, its chaos, and unbelievably irresistible charm. Cheers, mate!

Two crashes highlight need to be vigilant