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About Wollongong

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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My mission is simple; to help others in their transition from one property to another, discovering first what it is that they need and want.

Ya know, my work as a masseur gave me a keen eye to notice the little things. I see the tired yet hopeful eyes on everyday blokes and birds as they relax on those sundrenched verandahs in our neighbourhood. I get pissed sometimes when I hear about the expensive cafes takin' over the local stores in the place, but then I see the raw, unfiltered spirit of the community—now that's a kick in the pants of society's over-the-top trends.

‘Burning’ body found on Qld street