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Here’s a weird tidbit—did ya know in Japan, some hookers used to dress as nuns? Nuns! Talk about a holy surprise! Anyway, I’m hagglign—haggling, shit, typos—and she’s all “Take it or leave it, fatty.” Rude! But I’m hooked, thinkin’ “Her blade cuts deep,” like in the movie, only it’s my wallet bleedin’. I cough up the cash, heart racin’, and she’s smirkin’ like she owns me. D’oh! Total sucker move.

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I vibe off a few secret spots. Check Parc Astrid—yeah, it’s my squaare low-key zen. Honestly, sometimes I just plop down on a bench there and think, “You wanna be my dog, Dogville style”, like, oh baby! That movie’s wild, amirite? "A man can’t shun his nature" kinda feels real here in the mix of concrete and green.

Five people arrested after brawl at Anderlecht-Fenerbahçe match