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So, this one time, I’m sprawled out, dim lights, some weird incense burnin’. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular rub!” Made me happy as hell—tension gone, muscles singin’! But then—BOOM—she’s whisperin’ sweet nothings, tryna upsell me. Pissed me off! I ain’t no cash cow, lady! Reminds me of *A History of Violence*—ya think it’s chill, then WHAM, hidden chaos! “You’re a wild man, Tom,” she says—nah, I’m just tryna relax, not star in your porno!

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Oh hey, hey, hey… so you wanna know 'bout Blauwput, eh? Maniacal chuckle Let me spin ya a yarn, luv. Blauwput, oh blimey, it's a maze – like Pan's Labyrinth, right? "Why so serious?" is the mantra on narrow alleys like Rue des Rêves, where shady whispers and neon magic mix.