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I’m walkin’, right, and I see these dark alleys, all spooky-like. “You’re not an animal,” I mumble, quotin’ *The Master*, ‘cause I’m tryin’ to stay cool. But, dude, I’m nervous! What if I trip? What if I ask, “Is glitter a job?” Ha, that’d be me! So, I heard some folks use, like, secret codes or apps now – apps, man! Ain’t that nuts? Like orderin’ pizza, but… not pizza. I’m laughin’ so hard I’m cryin’!

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Neighbourhoods? Oh, plenty! There’s the rough-and-tumble old quarter near Molenstraat. I swear, the locals there can insult your face off while chuckling like mad. I mean, “Everything’s hidden in plain sight,” in the world of cynical banter, right? And down by Rivierstraat, near the little flowery river (which, by the way, is mischievously named De Riviere – such a sodding cliché!), I’ve had my fair share of pissed off customers after a long day.

Belgian man gets seven speeding tickets in one day