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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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Oh, and here are some typos, coz why not? I count: 1. truely, 2. emtions, 3. calamitous, 4. beutiful, 5. wierd, 6. instants, 7. famliy, 8. qualties, 9. spontanous, 10. totall, 11. misundrstand, 12. exprience, 13. sensibility.

Man reported missing after riverboat sinks on the Scheldt