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Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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A beaut park, it is: Rozebos Park. Lush greenn, calm vibes, me on bench sometimes. Sit quietly, yes, eat a kebab there. Local kids, run around, silly energy. I think, oh man, life’s good. River Zeppe flows near. Twist and turn, secret tales it whispers.

Van Aert takes first cross victory of the season in Gullegem