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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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Ah, and parks—holy smokes, don’t get me started on the Park van Sinaai. It’s a tiny green gem. People chill there, nah, they stay like for hours. I'm always surprised how the locals—smart kids and old timers alike—can just lounge there. It kinda reminds me of that line, “A wilting flower craves your touch…” I dunno, man, it’s poetic in its own twisted way.

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