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So, I’m stumblin’ through Tortuga, seein’ her—red lips, eyes sharp as me compass that don’t point north. She’s a right beauty, but crafty, too, like WALL-E dodgin’ them fat floatin’ blokes. Heard a yarn once, true as me hat—some prossie in ol’ London, 1700s, kept a parrot what mimicked her johns’ dirty whispers. Used it to blackmail ‘em! Clever lass, eh? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ o’ her squawkin’ bird spillin’ secrets.
Mad love for this hood, bro. Old town’s got hidden gems – tiny cafés on Dorpsplein, quirky boutiques on Kerkstraat. One time, I bumped into a local legend – a Dutchie, proper mad knows his gidda. Dude ranted about the tabloids. I was like “Bruv, chill!” But it was lit.
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