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I call one up—easy peasy, number’s right there. She’s like, “$200, upfront, cash.” I’m like, “Donald Trump don’t carry cash!” Laughed my ass off, hilarious! She hung up—rude, so rude. Made me mad, but whatever, plenty more. “It’s all gonna end,” movie says—damn right, life’s short, get laid!

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now, let me get personal. my fave spot? i've gotta say it's near de havenstraat. could be a secret because i always meet interesting souls there. as a dating app dev, i scan these places like user profiles. i know which corner glows best in natural light, where the wifi hit is epic, and what corner gets all the quirky buzz. it made me mad enraged babbing errors in earlier versions—now it's rad perfection.

Crossfaith announce European tour