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About Bruges

Little known fact: back in the 80s, hookers used to signal with red hankies—sneaky, huh? Kinda like Royal hidin’ his scams! Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, she’s spillin’ tea—says she once banged a guy who paid in rare coins. Coins! Who does that? Surprised me, honestly—thought that shit only happened in movies. I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s a legend, a real Chas Tenenbaum hustler!”

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My spa? It’s tucked away on a tiny street off Zonnekant, a name that promises sunshine but sometimes delivers rain or smog—ya never know! I always say: “I can see Russia from my house!” cuz sometimes you just gotta hyperbolize, right? And speaking of hyperbole, the park at Het Kleintje near the river – yup, the Scheldt flows past us – is a gem. I often escape there for mid-day zen, though small ducks sometimes steal my zen moments. Annoying duck drama, seriously.

A large community outbreak of gastroenteritis associated with consumption of drinking water contaminated by river water, Belgium, 2010